Not My Town…
Having spent the last two weeks in Montreal, sleeping in a hotel and eating in restaurants, I am reminded of one of the many annoying foreign customers I used to have to deal with as a waiter. Contemplating the breakfast menu at the French bistro where I worked, an attractive woman looked up at me and, in dismay, announced in a thick European accent, “This is not my favorite breakfast.”
Not knowing how else to respond, I smiled. Then came a long succession of carefully composed questions through which the woman was clearly trying to fashion something akin to her favorite breakfast. Could the soft-boiled eggs be boiled hard? Were olives available? Capers? Multigrain toast? By the time we got to mozzarella cheese, she was exasperated by my inability to meet what she considered to be quite basic requirements. “Why?” she asked. “Because this is a French restaurant,” I replied, before I could stop myself and think of a way to cushion the blow of the obvious. Perhaps neither of us had had her coffee yet. All this lady could muster was, “But you are not French!”
I told this story many times at the restaurant, comforting my peers in the wait-until-you-hear-this-one camaraderie that carries one through the rudeness, cheapness, and lack of sophistication you have to swallow when you work in the service industry. Now, snatched from my fifteen-year bubble of New Yorker-ness and finding myself in the most unexpected places, I’m on the lady’s side. When I finally found a real bagel shop in Montreal I had to take my bounty back to my hotel to administer the schmear. They didn’t even have toasters there and all the cream cheese was sold in prepackaged to go cartons. The sacrilege!
That said, The Man and I did manage to eat very well in this town and since Montreal had little else to offer us I thought I’d stick to saying something nice rather than nothing at all and share our recommendations.
Alexandre Restaurant Fraincais (1454 Rue Peel) A basic bistro with reasonable prices and reliable fare, their Steak Frites and Salade Niçoise are undeniably authentic. Café tables on the sidewalk afford an intimate view of other downtown diners going to and fro as well as the opportunity to smoke should you so desire.
Le Pois Penché (1230 Boulevard de Maisonneuve Ouest) Much more than a bistro, this space is inspired-going-on-gaudy with red velvet seats and red leather banquets set against florid faux French modernist paintings. The food, however, is beyond reproach. Fresh oysters, classic French salads, lobster risotto with a full half a tail, and gorgeous, richly prepared steaks. The wine list begs reckless abandon, but many lovely offerings are available by the glass.
Japonais Sushi Zenya (486 rue Sainte-Catherine Ouest) Tucked away upstairs from busy Catherine Street traffic, this dark and lovely sushi restaurant is the next best thing to Blue Ribbon on Sullivan Street in New York. No higher compliment is possible, so I’ll leave it at that.
Le Club Chasse et Pêche (423 St Claude) Definitely the best place we dined on the entire trip, I might even return to Montreal just for a meal here. Considering their website in advance, I noticed the menu was slight though eccentric. Our phenomenal waiter filled in all the blanks for us at the table, including explaining what we could expect if we ordered the “hot and solid meal,” which that evening was a 32 ounce filet mignon. He even persuaded us to parse our appetizers into separate courses to share, exhibiting no concern over turning our table. We chose one of their classic starters, suckling pig risotto garnished with foie gras. The wine list was again an invitation to hedonism, but we were well directed within our price range. Declining dessert, we were sent after dinner drinks on the house. Everything was amazing!
You may not be able to get a decent pizza or a bagel with a schmear in Montreal, but guess what—it’s not New York City. Once I came to terms with that obvious fact, I noticed that there were classic French patisseries everywhere and an embarrassment of very high quality foie gras. The service was excellent virtually everywhere we went, with nearly every waiter speaking both French and English fluently. We ate so well we never once had room for dessert.
Can I think of anything else to say that’s nice about Montreal? Well, they have a nice park…right in the middle of the city. I’m terrible!
